Handling Flashbacks

Flashbacks are a normally occurring phenomenon in the nervous system. They are scary to witness and support someone through, but with the right support, they can be therapeutic for the person. With the wrong support, however, a flashback could be re-traumatizing.

It’s important that the event be handled with little fear. Supports need to have confidence in her/his nervous system, that their body/mind has the ability to handle this.

Stop the flashback firmly but gently. This is NOT the time to process the memory, ask to hear the story. There is time for that later. Bring the person “back” by telling them calmly but firmly that they are having a flashback, that they will be ok.

Calm yourself. It’s understandable that you will want to focus on the person that you are helping, but if you are reacting with fear, panic, he/she will read that in your body language and react – even if you are saying the right words. Focus on your own exhale and notice your own body. Just by announcing that he/she is having a flashback (as above), that person’s mind/body will start the recovery process. Slow down and exhale for a few breaths, move you own joints and body a bit, taking your eyes off that person for a minute. They are ok.

Ask her/him to look around the room. Together comment on something in the room (“I love your soft pillow here.” Or “It’s really windy out today.” Something to get that person out of their focus on their internals (their own thoughts, body) and out into the bigger world. Remind them that it’s not time to process the flashback or tell the story; instead, it’s time to come out.

If he/she is struggling with this, help them start to move. Moving in any way at all is helpful. Flashbacks often evoke freeze, which is the most traumatizing aspect. Shivering, shaking or jumping is very helpful and important to recovery. Let the jumping/shaking (almost like a cold chattering) happen for a number of minutes, increasing the intensity of the activity until it finishes naturally. Don’t ask the person to stop or calm down. It’s important that the movement finish naturally. Cold temperature is a good sign of recovery. Be talking to him/her in a soothing voice. Go inside and calm yourself again, allowing him/her to move without you attending to him/her. Give them some space. Give the person a glass of cold water.

Possibly encourage her/him to make a noise that matches their movement. You can also consider making the noise and shaking/shivering along with him/her. Remind the person often in a loving way that they are ok, that this is normal.

Watch for signs of slowing movements, better breathing or rhythm now in the movements. Mention those calmly to him/her so that you both can see signs of progress. Focus on your own bigger exhale now again.

If warmth comes in next, you’re on the right track. Keep making small talk, keep noticing mostly the outside world.

Exhaustion will often follow in the recovery process. Help her/him find comfort in a caring way. A good sleep would be wonderful!

Let your therapist know.

If you encounter these, consider visiting your local emergency room or calling 911:

Chest pains

Prolonged break from reality/inability to orient person to the present (Orient = confirming that they are aware of where they are)

Prolonged cold

Catatonia/unresponsiveness

Shallow breathing + low heart rate + glass eyed + low blood pressure+pale skin tone = shock. If the person is not recovering from shock, consider medical support.